I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
