i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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