Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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