If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
