the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
