i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
