I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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