kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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