I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
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