I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
