1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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