my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
