I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
