Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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