Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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