now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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