So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
