why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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