I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
