After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
