the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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