She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
