I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
