just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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