Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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