Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
