They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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