I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
as a side note pls kill me
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
