home. puking in laundry basket.
The best revenge is premature balding
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
