sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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