i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
