weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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