He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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