i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
