I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
it glows. i had to have it.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
