You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
