This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
