some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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