I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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