Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
