Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
