loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Mom said you looked used
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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