Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I want to make a zoo with you.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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