Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
