you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
