ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
