I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
