thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
