I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
