Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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