so that wasnt chicken after all
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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